The rapist and killer of the child Adnane, whose case had caused a stir nationally, and even beyond, was sentenced to death. A deep relief was felt and expressed by different parties, but unfortunately this is not the end of a scourge that continues to frighten young and old alike, all asking the same question, namely How to protect children from sexual predators ?
The media coverage of the Adnane affair, this little boy who was raped and then killed in Tangier, has indeed created a feeling of insecurity and created a climate of anxiety among parents who until now had no habit of discussing pedophilia with their children. Contacted by Hespress Fr Amal Chabach, sexologist, explained how parents can protect their children from sexual predators upstream.
While in Moroccan society it is the word “hchouma” which qualifies sex education, talking about anatomy, things to do or not to do, are things prohibited. Obviously, sex education is not something parents learned from their parents, it was done on the job. And that’s how they hoped the tradition would continue.
But since pedophilia cases are more and more publicized and Moroccan families see that the victims are found dead like little Adnane Bouchouf and little Naima Rouhi, the desire to instill safety measures in children, to protect them from sexual predators, begins to trot in their minds. Except they don’t know how to do it.
Believe the children
The sexologist Amal Chabach, who has seen cases of trauma linked to cases of rape in her office, believes that the first thing to teach children is to teach them to communicate well with their parents, “to do them trust, to teach them to tell them everything that is happening, that’s how they can protect them ”.
According to the specialist, establishing a climate of trust between parents and children is essential. “Parents should especially believe their children” when they tell them that they have been touched in a non-innocent way by an adult or that they have been the victim of rape.
“I often have cases where children have told their parents that there has been sexual touching but the parents don’t believe them. They violate them, punish them. And this is not good because the child is already the victim of violence, of sexual abuse, and after he is the victim of a rejection, he feels betrayed by his parents who do not believe him ”, explains the sex therapist.
And to note that parents reject the confessions of their children because they often involve relatives. “Just as a reminder, pedophiles are in the immediate environment, that is to say family, neighborhood, places where we often go for activities …”, says Amal Chabach.
Proximity between adults and children to be avoided
While Moroccan society is characterized by great proximity between adults and children, the separation between appropriate and inappropriate behavior is blurred, especially for children who have not been educated to know the limits of physical contact with an adult. whether he is from his family or not.
Many times, parents themselves encourage their children to have physical contact with adults, even strangers. This phenomenon is characterized by the famous “bouss Aamou” (kiss your uncle, editor’s note) in the street when parents meet an acquaintance, or when the child is taken in the arms of adults, or sitting on their knees.
Parents often see benevolence towards their child, but it is often this kind of physical contact that turns into touching.
Reacting to this societal trend, Amal Chabach believes that “we mix up respectful societal behaviors (the swab), with certain limits where we should not push our children to have too much proximity with people”. And to add “nobody kisses you on the mouth, even if you are three years old.” As soon as this happens in front of the parent, the message the child receives is that it is allowed, it is normal. And this is a problem, because when there is going to be a stranger who will do it, the child will agree, ”she explains.
This is why sex education or the term “education for life” (advocated by the sexologist so as not to shock the parents, editor’s note) is essential and must be part of the education provided in general to the child. .
“Children must be taught to say no to anyone who wants to touch them in a private place. Say for example to the children + if someone says follow me, I will give you something, you have to say no +, if an adult blackmail them you must come and tell the parents straight away, ”said the sex therapist. by providing guidance to parents and reaffirming the importance of communication between child and parent.
“We can’t watch our children 24 hours a day, so it’s important, the children need to tell everything”, and that the parents believe their children. “Unfortunately, we do not yet have this in our families,” she regretted.
Know how to answer children’s questions
Another important aspect of communication between parent and child noted by the sex therapist is the need to know what and how to answer questions from children who are discovering their bodies.
When it comes to when to start talking about sex with children, that’s when they start asking questions, says Dr. Chabach. “If a three-year-old boy asks his mother why I’m not like you, why I have a penis and not you, the mother must know how to answer”, she believes, and must not react badly by silencing the child.
“If a little girl says to her mom asks + mom what are you doing with dad in the bedroom, and you shut yourself up, you have to know how to answer her”, evokes the specialist as another type of question that children can to pose.
While these are delicate questions that often leave parents disconcerted and not knowing what to answer, the specialist recalls that this is precisely the reason why we must be trained in education for life. It therefore proposes to create workshops, particularly during broadcasts, to learn how to react by taking real cases as an example.